Vulnerabilities: All about yours truly...

I was recently given a really cool opportunity at work to go through a Leadership and Talent Assessment.  I call it really cool now because it's over and I found it incredibly enlightening and fulfilling...but before I really knew what I was getting into, I was sick to my stomach about it.  Basically I was interviewed as well as 3 of my teammates and my boss...all chatting about yours truly, as well as our team as a whole since the dynamics have changed quite a bit over the past year.  On top of that, 2 of my direct reports and another colleague I work closely with were interviewed and all of this was compiled into a comprehensive Leadership Assessment. 

This process was spread out over the course of a couple of weeks and involved a lot of self-reflection, identifying {or maybe just admitting to?} some of my own vulnerabilities and weaknesses as well as strengths.  I am so thankful for this opportunity and truly getting to love my day job makes such a difference in my life overall.  I feel respected and empowered and I have the opportunity to help others feel the same. 

I've found that since becoming a mom, I am far more guarded about my personal weaknesses and vulnerabilities than I was before...probably because I feel 100x more vulnerable as a mother than I have in any other role.  I know I'm pretty much an open-book and if anything, I tend to overshare the day to day details of our lives, but overall I'm actually pretty guarded about the things I don't feel super-confident about.  It's easy to share the good stuff, but to really let the walls come down and show that maybe we don't actually have all of our shit together, is another story entirely.

Much like my job, I find myself pouring every ounce of happiness and positivity I possibly can into Duke.  It is so important to me that he have a happy childhood and grow up in an environment where he is encouraged, challenged, and constantly learning. But my biggest struggle is finding the balance and reminding to take care of MYSELF at the same time.  I read a great blog post earlier this week about self-care and while I think it's important for everyone to do, I think it's especially important for mamas, who are inevitably taking care of many other people before themselves.  I'd like to have enough happiness and positivity left over to cut my husband some slack and maybe be a better friend.

In my leadership assessment I learned that the goals I have for myself personally in my career, are coming through clearly to others and I am representing myself just as I had hoped.  The values I find to be incredibly important {trust, integrity, follow-through, open-mind} are the values that my colleagues also see as strengths for me.  There are always things we can be doing to better ourselves, always things to be learning, endless ways to grow and evolve, and I'm excited to continue to work on myself and some personal goals throughout 2017.  I'm hoping to apply more of what I learned from this assessment to my personal marriage, my role as a mom, a sister, a daughter, a friend, etc. Also, if somebody can find a way to assess my skills as a mother and interview a 13 month old that speaks mainly in "ooh's", I'd gladly take the feedback. :)

It's a little clich√© to focus all about self-improvement and reflection as we get closer to ending one year and starting a new one, but who cares?! Is there ever a bad time to try to be a better person?  It will likely be a goal of mine for years to come, and one I am more than happy to work towards.

Happy Monday Friends!  And more importantly...Happy Christmas Week! #totallyathing

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