On Being His Mama

An open letter to my sweet baby Duke,

I well up with tears nearly every day, when you place your hand on my chest or smile up at me with that amazing gummy grin.  I can see two little white dots brand new little teeth on your bottom gum and the drool alone warned me of their imminent arrival. I thought of the tears and the pain, the sleepless nights and teething rings. I forgot to think about the fact that you wouldn't have the same gummy grin I've come to know and love and melt for.  There are so many firsts that I embrace and a growing number of "lasts" that make my heart ache.

I love watching you grow and thrive but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss each passing moment, because I beginning to see how fleeting it all is. I get so excited when you sleep like a champ, but I miss you when you're in your crib.  At night I walk into your room and lightly place my hand on your little chest to feel the rise and fall of it.  I long to cradle you up and kiss your sweet soft temples but I will wait until you cry out between 3 and 4 am to steal some kisses.  By then my eyes will be heavy and I'll be thinking more about falling back asleep than watching your perfect sleepy latch, but don't worry my son, I enjoy every moment your tiny body lays against mine getting the nourishment you need to continue with your slumber. 

I would carry you around all day, close to my chest, if I could simultaneously get anything else done. Being your mama is the greatest thing I've ever done and even though these moments will pass and you will continue to grow into your own independent man, one thing will never change.  I will always love you more than anyone could possibly love you Duke Anthony.  You will always be the sweet boy who made me a mom.

Until next time my sweet readers...

-T-