The Struggle Is Real

Working mamas out there...does the guilt ever go away?!  I am riding shotgun on the struggle bus right now and I'm beating myself up more than I usually allow.  How do we balance it all? How do we keep all the plates in the air? Wife, mom, full time employee, blogs, side gigs, hobbies, family time, social calendars {what is that??}... I feel like I'm failing at 97% of this list at any given time.  I usually feel pretty good about the mama category because it's just too easy for me to get lost in little baby giggles and delicious rolls.  It's distracting, it makes me blissfully happy, and I use it as an "excuse" to not do other things. And/or I physically can't because Duke is in full on body-cling mode.

I have to recognize that it's usually during times of sickness {I've been battling a cold for a week or so} that these feelings are so strong.  Because even during some downtime, I can't muster up the energy to be productive because of said illness.  I know this, yet it doesn't stop my mind from tallying up all of the things  not doing and sending me into a tailspin without a parachute.  Or so I think.  And then, just when I need him the most, my husband swoops in with all the right wordsmith. Let's me sob into his shoulder and patiently reminds me that it's going to be okay...we will get (insert random household chore here) done eventually. 

Shout out to single parents because I just don't know how you do it! It takes a village and my village is a good one, but I'm not sure how I would manage with my husband.  Even when I'm at my most frustrating, he doesn't lose his temper, and is able to bring me back down to earth and somehow calm me down.  I had an epic meltdown the other night and he literally was able to console me while simultaneously giving Duke his nighttime bottle.  Don't get me wrong, there are days we drive each other absolutely insane but at the end of it all, I wouldn't want to be on this crazy ride with anyone else.

All this is to say, some days I need to throw in the towel.  I need to accept that I can't do it all and embrace my severe lack of superhero abilities.  Sunday was that day for me...hang tight though, tomorrow I might put my cape back on and try it all over again.

-T-